Friday, January 16, 2009

Cherish Each Moment

Recently my wife and I have noticed a lot of people around us complaining about parenting and children. We have also heard of sad incidences in the news media recently as well. It breaks our heart that parents don’t realize how special these little ones are. How great of a blessing to be able to raise them here on earth. My wife and I would do anything to have that experience with our angel Preslie.

You should cherish being able to change their diapers, listen to their sweet cries, wake up in the wee hours of the morning to feed them, and for getting the chance to hold them close to you. How can you sit there and complain when there are so many others that would do all that in a heartbeat? So many parents don’t realize that anything can happen, and how grateful you should be for your children.

So many parents out there won’t get to experience the things you get to here on earth. Many parents don’t get to walk out of the hospital with a baby in their arms. Many mothers don’t get the chance to breastfeed their babies; they just get to suffer through when the milk comes in. Many fathers don’t get to spend time with their children when their wife goes out with her girlfriends.

A few of the many things Rylie and I have learned through this experience is that you cannot take one moment for granted, life can be turned upside down in a flash, and that we are going to cherish every second we will get with our family.

If we could impress anything from this on you, it is to cherish every single second you have with your precious babes. Be grateful for the role you are playing in their lives, and always express to them your love.


Janee said...

Thank you for sharing that. It's true - we all need to be grateful for our little ones. They grow up so fast.

Sami and Mark said...

Those are some very good words. Thank you for sharing them. Recently my little Audree has been really sick. It is the greatest challenge that I personally have had so far as a mother. Everyday I am terrified that I will wake up and my baby will have stopped breathing. So even when it is 3 in the morning and I have a splitting headache I am grateful to hear those coughs and cries. I know it's probably really hard but thank you for using your perspective to help us all remember how precious every moment in life is. You guys are a great strength and I pray that you will daily find the blessings in it.

My love to you,


Alexis said...

I imagine it's like a knife to your heart to hear people complaining about something you'd gladly do 100 times over if it meant having your baby here with you. But sometimes as imperfect parents who have not gone through your heartache we can get caught up in the craziness of our every day lives raising children and complain about it. It is hard - but no doubt worth it. Every time I am having a hard day with my own kids I remind myself that EVERY second is so precious with them. I am so sorry you won't be able to experience the wonderful or hard aspects of parenthood with Preslie in this life. So thankful to know you will in the next.

Preston and Keri Robertson Fam said...

I have definitely learned to appreciate my children A LOT more lately. I mean, I have always felt so blessed and so lucky to be able to have two beautiful and healthy kids but sometimes I think I take it for granted. There will be a lot of nights after reading your blog or reading "Names in the Sand" I want to literally wake up my babies and just hold them.
So, thank you! You have made me open my eyes a bit wider and be MORE grateful for my 2 wonderful blessings.
And don't worry, there WILL be a time when you get to bring your little one home and do all those great things. I promise!!!

you gonna eat that? said...

WOW- I think you're totally right. But in my experience, I've never seen a parent who didn't already completely appreciate their children. Makes me wonder what people you're talking about.

J&E said...

This is truly something you two have taught me by your example. I cherish every moment that I have with my unborn little one, knowing that at any moment she, or I, or her father could be called home. I am grateful for your strength and for your courage in sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Your courage in sharing has so greatly blessed my life and I thank you for that. I still send my thoughts and prayers to you.
Lots of Love,

Jenny and Kelsey said...

Thanks for saying this! I have felt that way a lot lately myself since the loss of Preslie. If people could only understand?!

Aubreydoll said...

It is so easy to get caught up in all the small, unimportant things sometimes. I know there are days where I have to step back and realize that even though I get frustrated I love having my little boy here and I know I'll miss these days when I don't have them anymore.

Natalie said...

Beautiful. Thank you.

Bobby and M!kell said...

I very often remind myself of that very thing. everyone gets frustrated and tired when you are a parent BUT you learn to laugh over the small stuff instead of getting angry and just enjoy your children. Life changes very quickly. thank you for the reminder Chris and Rylie. ♥

Jill said...

Rylie and Chris,

Thank you for your posts. I'm in your parents/in-laws ward in Alexandria. You may remember my husband Andrew from volleyball.

Our son was stillborn October 26, 2007. When we heard about your loss just days before our year mark all the pain came rushing back. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I know it's awful.

I've know about your blog for a couple months now but have been hestitant to look at it because I feared it would be too difficult to read. Too familiar. I'm glad I finally read through it tonight. Your words certainly resonate with me.

I found it hard to hear about other's pregnancies and new babies and it seems like if women are together long enough they ALWAYS talk about pregnancies and babies. Drew had other triggers, but we both got frustrated when we heard parents complain about their babies. What wouldn't I give to be kept up all night by my crying baby? And really, what do I care if someone had a difficult labor if their baby survived?

It's a struggle and some times are harder than others. Your due date. Holidays. The year mark.

Some situations are especially difficult. Church lessons about motherhood. Sitting in the OBGYN's office, surrounded by pregos.

It sounds like you have a lot of support from family and friends. I hope you continue to find ways to cope with this awful loss.

I found therapy, a support group (, some literature (Gone Too Soon: The life and loss of infants and unborn children), a memorial/funeral, traditions to remember my baby, talking with friends who had also experienced loss, blessings, indulging myself, accepting help, and TIME to all be helpful.

If you ever want to talk Drew and I are available.