Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Sweets for Lent

I worked with a Catholic woman in Washington D.C. who did Lent every year. I think one year she gave up caffeine, and then sugar the other year. I remember my roommates and I thinking of things that we could, or would be able to give up for 40 days. Although we do not celebrate Lent, I thought it would be neat to carry on my tradition of going without something for 40 days.

I did some research on Lent, and I found it to be pretty interesting. It is a time for people to fast, cleanse, repent, pray and become closer to Christ. It is said to be a season of 40 days for the preparation of the Savior's death and Resurrection. I thought it was neat that different religions celebrate it differently, and that people are devoted to following it.

I wanted to give myself a challenge, and I decided for the next 40 days I am going to give up "All things sweet".

Since Preslie has died all I want is chocolate and sweets. I figured that since I can't drink or smoke, my crutch has become sweets. NOT GOOD! When I feel extra down or sad the first thing I do is grab the nearest treat. This has not helped myself in losing the baby weight. I have decided to give up physical sweets, and focus on spiritual sweets. I would love to become closer to my savior this year, and there is no better time then now.

I found this quote that I really liked:

"We have something wonderful and sweet, something much more vital than a chocolate bar, something that affects everyone for all eternity. We have tasted the gospel, and we know it is good. We cannot and we must not ignore the opportunity to help others taste it, too." --Elder Monte J. Brough

Wish me luck!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Happy 4 Month Birthday P

It's crazy to think that our little P would be 4 months old today. I was looking back through our wedding slideshow pictures, and I found a few of myself when I was 4 months. Preslie looked a lot like me as a baby, and I have done nothing but try to imagine what she would look like today. Would she still have a lot of hair? What color would her eyes be? Would they still be blue or brown? Would she be able to roll over by herself now, or sit up? So many wonders of what our precious baby would look like and be doing. We only wish we would actually be able to see and know. One day though....Happy 4 Month Birthday our daring Preslie.

Dear Preslie,

Happy 4 Month birthday! It is amazing how the time has crawled, and yet flown at the same time since you have gone to heaven. Your daddy and I laid in bed this morning, and talked about what you would be doing today. We wish so badly that you were here with us today, but we know that Heavenly Father has a bigger and greater purpose for you up there. You have touched and changed so many lives already Preslie, and we know you will continue to touch others as they learn all about you. Your Grandma Sue is getting her Patriarchl blessing soon, and has thrown herself into the service of others. Your Grandma Mary has made a complete life change for you Preslie, and she looks incredible. Just look at the impact you have made on your Grandmas. How proud you must be to look down and see the greatness they are doing. Your daddy and I have met many of your friends parents Preslie, and it has been so healing to know that one day we won't feel the sadness and pain we do now. We know that you are sharing your story up in heaven with your friends, as we are doing here on earth. Please know that we love you so much, and there isn't a day that goes by where we don't think of you and want you here. We are so so grateful that we were able to have you as long as we did. How short those 9 months were! I would have carried you forever! We got a kitty last month named Chewy. He is very fiesty and adventurous. We like to think that you would have been that way too. We know that you would have loved him. We think that he was born around the same time that you were, so we are going to celebrate his little birthday today too! Thank you for blessing us Preslie with your spirit, and for letting me feel what true joy and happiness is. I promise you that one day I will feel that joy and happiness again. Please continue to peek in at us every so often, and know that your Mommy and Daddy love you. You are beautiful inside and out. Don't be too sad, we will see you again soon. We love you! Love, Mommy

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Reflection on the Happiest Day of My Life

A year ago today was the happiest day of my life. I had a really bad cold, and felt like I shouldn't take any medicine since my period was late. Chris went to the store and bought a bunch of meds as well as a pregnancy test. He wrote me a little sticky note wishing me luck. I remember being so scared to take the test, but I was so sick I had to know. When the test turned out positive I could not even breathe. I felt a huge rush of emotion, and I just started sobbing. It felt like God had put his arms around me, and had given me a huge hug. I called my mom and told her all about it, and then decided to decorate the house for Chris.

Chris called me on a break at school and I could not hold back the excitement. He knew instantly when he heard my voice. He came home and we called all of our family members. We were so excited! We starting thinking of all the great things our baby would be doing someday, and how blessed we felt to be able to have such a great child.

My heart just aches today. I never in my wildest dreams thought that a year from that day I would be sitting here with empty arms, and a broken heart. I found myself thinking back to that day a lot this past week, wishing I could go back and relive that moment. Oh what I would do to have Preslie here with me. I would just hold her and never let her go. Today is such a hard day, I just want my baby girl!

Monday, February 16, 2009

V-Day Weekend Recap!

Chris and I left Friday afternoon for Detroit. We stopped right outside of it to eat at this Brazilian restaurant. There were 13 different types of meat, and an all you can eat salad bar. It was so yummy! My favorite meat was the lamb, and Chris loved the pork.

After such a huge meal we went to our hotel, and found out that our room had a HUGE HUGE HUGE Whirlpool jacuzzi tub. It was AWESOME! We took a 3 hour nap at the hotel, and then ventured out to the Twelve Oaks Mall. The mall was huge! Chris and I had a lot of fun walking around and looking at different types of stores, and clothes.

After our mall adventure we picked up some Little Caesars and headed back to the hotel, where we watched tv and waited to go see "Confessions of A Shopaholic" Chris and I went to the most ghetto theater, and a man and his gf or wife fought throughout the entire movie! After the movie we ran to the car!

Chris and I woke up on Saturday, ate at the hotel and then headed out to the Detroit Temple. We heard that the temple was really small, but we had no idea how small it actually was. It was tiny! We were so grateful to attend the Spors sealing, and then spend a few hours in the temple. We had such a neat experience that day, that we will never forget. We are going to start going more often.

We had such a nice and relaxing weekend, and are so grateful we were able to get away and focus on each other. I can't wait to be able to do that again soon.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”

Things have been pretty busy lately in the life of the Martin's. Chris has been going to work, and school while trying to be here for me as well. He has been such a huge love and support to me these past few months, and I don't know what I would do without him. I am so grateful that I am able to still have him here with me, and every moment I have with him I won't take for granted.

(Superbowl Cake)

School is going well for me. I am really enjoying my Wedding Planning class, and I am learning all about how I should have done my wedding. Don't get me wrong I loved my wedding and everything about it, there is just so many new fun things that you can do for your big day. I have learned all about Preston Bailey, and the amazing weddings he has put on. I have also been in the process of planning a wedding for an "imaginary" couple which has been so fun.

Another class I am really enjoying right now is my Political Science class. I have learned more in this class then I ever did back in high school. Maybe because I wasn't paying for it then. :) I took my first Poli Sci exam today and I feel really confident that I did great on it. I am not a great test taker typically, but I have no doubt that I did well on this one.

(Representative Jase Bolger)

Also a really exciting thing happened for me this week....I got an internship with Representative Jase Bolger's office!!! I met with the Representative yesterday afternoon, and less than 2 hours later they called offering me the internship. I have LOVED my government internship class, and I think it will be a great opportunity to get back into the swing of politics. I start on Wednesday, and I couldn't be happier.

All of my other classes are going very well, and I am so fortunate to be able to have Chris in my BOM class every Tuesday morning. Brother Draut has been a great teacher for us, and it's nice to be able to have a set time for learning the gospel together. Another thing that has really helped Chris and I is we have started having Family Home Evening with the Hogges, Boardmans, and Miners. It's so comforting to be surrounded by our Michigan family, and know that we can share our love for each other and the gospel together.

As far as grieving is going. Bottom line is, I miss Preslie. How can I not miss her? I think keeping myself busy has been a real blessing, but I still have a lot of down moments where all I want to do is hold her. Chris and I had the opportunity to attend a support group tonight called HOPING. Chris and I met with some wonderful women there. One woman is a Mother of an angel and the other is an Aunt of an angel. We had a comforting 2 hour discussion, and it was nice to hear that what Chris and I are going through is totally normal. It was such a comfort to be able to talk to women who understand what I am feeling, and going through. They meet once a month, and I am excited to become more involved in the group. I hope to one day be able to help others who are dealing with a loss of a child.

(This picture is for you Aubrey!)

Our kitty Chewy is doing great, and adjusting well in our house. He is so wicked sometimes though. He thinks Chris is Hans Solo and follows him EVERYWHERE! He loves to bite and scratch, and he especially loves to try to eat our food when we are eating. Chris and I have had to start putting him upstairs while we eat, so he won't jump all over us. He has been such a healing to Chris and I, and we always look forward to going home and seeing his cute furry face.

Chris and I are headed out of Lansing tomorrow for a romantic Valentine's Day getaway in the beautiful Detroit Michigan. <-------Ha! We hope your Valentine's Day is filled with lots of love.