Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Cheers to 3 years!

Today Chris and I have been married 3 years. I remember the day like it was yesterday, looking into Chris's eyes knowing that we were in a life long journey together. I loved looking into the mirrors in the temple seeing ourselves continuing on forever and ever.

Through our 3 years of marriage we have had the greatest times, and unfortunately the saddest. No one ever would have thought that our world would be turned upside down in the few short years that we have been married. Looking back through the years, our marriage is now stronger than ever. We endured and are continuing to endure the pains and toils of life. Hand in hand we can do anything.

Last night Chris and I looked back through many pictures of ourselves over the past 3 years. We wanted to share with you some of our favorites...

We have received so many blessings these past 3 years...

1. We were given the opportunity to conceive a perfect angel. Preslie brought us so much happiness last year. Through all the grief and sadness we wouldn't change anything. Preslie has changed out lives as well as many others. We are grateful for our little angel up in heaven.

2. We are grateful for our newest addition to be, Arista Miracle. Through all the fear and anxiety, we can't help but fall madly in love with this little girl. She has brought much needed hope and peace into our lives already, and we can only hope that she will get to stay with us here on earth.

3. We have been blessed to adopt our kitty Chew. He has been a huge help in our healing process. He has so much energy and excitement for life, and he is always there to greet us when we come home. I don't know how we would have been able to make it this far without him.

4. Law school here in Michigan has been another blessing in our life. We are on our last year here in Michigan, and we have been so blessed with many great friends, and a great ward. Moving to Michigan has been a huge blessing.

5. Our family has been a huge asset in our lives these past 3 years. They are always there for us when we need them, and they have all continued to stay by us during our darkest hours. We love them all so much, and couldn't have made it this far without them.

Cheers to 3 incredible years together, and to many many many many more. I love you so much Christopher Chadwick, I am so blessed and excited to spend forever with you. "Come what may, I will love you until the end of time". Happy Anniversary!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Crazy but Fun

Fluid Leak?

The past few weeks have been crazy busy, and also very fun as well. The craziness began last Sunday when I was getting ready for church. I had spent all of the previous week preparing sharing time for our Sunbeam class, and I was anxious and excited to get to put it on that day. While I was getting ready I felt a "rush then a gush". I didn't really think anything of it until it happened again 20 minutes later and ran down my leg. When Chris woke up I had told him what happened, and we called the "On call" doctor. She thought we needed to head over to the hospital to have it checked out. We went up to Labor and Delivery and were checked into a room. Chris and I both sat in silence as we relived being in the next room over when we found out our precious baby girl had passed away. The nurse had me leave a urine sample, in which I felt Arista moving around. I went back into the room and she started to set me up to the monitors. She couldn't find the heartbeat. I sat there in shock thinking how could I have felt her move,and now she isn't alive. Chris had the same thoughts, and just as we all were about to panic... We heard a faint heartbeat. Chris was angry and relived at the same time, and told the nurse that it's a relief that she had found it. We then told her the story about Preslie, and she understood why we were so anxious. I had all the tests done, and even had an ultrasound to prove that I had lots of fluid for our little baby. When the doctor came back in to give us the test results. He said in his Israeli voice... "Good news! No water break, just semen." We all had a great laugh at that one. I felt awful for going through all the panic and stuff but, the nurse reassured me that it is 100% okay and normal. She even said to come in as much as I wanted, anytime I needed to. After a long scare at the hospital we went home and slept for the rest of the afternoon.

Welcome to Chicago

The following day Chris and I headed out to Chicago. We decided we needed a vacation to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. I had never been to Chicago, so we took advantage of how close it is. After a few hours of traffic outside of Chicago we arrived at our hotel. We went to dinner at Gino's East, and then walked around a HUGE HUGE mall. Later that night we went and saw the movie "Funny People". I was not a fan, but the theater was so nice. It even had valet parking for $7, and people were actually doing it. After a fun day we retired back at the hotel.

Ginos East

On Tuesday we woke up and rode the L train downtown. It only took us about an hour to get down there, and the train wasn't nearly as dirty as I expected it to be. We walked down to the Magnificent Mile, and went into tons of shops. Our favorites being: The Disney Store, Tiffanys, Nike, and the Gap. After shopping for a while we walked down to the Navy Pier. It was so beautiful to see Lake Michigan, and the little street was just full of fun things to do. We ate at a little cafe and then saw a sign for their Shakespeare festival putting on Aladdin. Of course we got tickets for the next day, then we started to head back to the train. On our way back Chris kept saying how he had never been on a Ferris wheel before, and how he really wanted to go on it. We got onto the Ferris wheel, and all of a sudden I started to panic! I had not been on one for at least 15 years, and I forgot how scared I was on them. I started to hyperventilate, and kept my eyes closed the ENTIRE time, except when Chris wanted to take pictures. It was so scary, but I am glad Chris was able to experience it. After the Ferris Wheel we walked down the Magnificent Mile to the American Girl Place store. It was INCREDIBLE. All the doll, clothes, food, and little doll hospital. I will definitely be taking Arista there one day. Arriving back at our hotel we decided to go to Texas De Brazil for dinner. The meat was so yummy, and we even got a free anniversary dessert. ;)

Wednesday we got up early and drove down to the Navy Pier. Luckily there was no traffic and we made it 20 minutes early for Aladdin. The play was so fun, it was in this tiny little theater and our seats were great. Chris and I just love Aladdin, and had such a blast being able to see it live on stage. After the play we decided we have had enough of Chicago, and we drove back home. Chew was there waiting for us, and we had a great relaxing night after a fun filled vacation.

Jesus wants me for a SunBEAM!

Sunday our class gave sharing time in the junior and senior primary. The topic was Temple worthiness. I thought it would be fun if we made cookies (which everyone loves). I took Ziploc bags and taped on there different pictures of good and bad choices, then in the bad choice bags we filled them with yucky stuff. We put all the baggies in a picnic basket and had the children choose a choice. We put the good choices into a bowl with the SLC temple on it, and the bad choices into a bowl with a boy frowning. We had our little sunbeams all dressed up as chefs and they each took turns stirring the ingredients. Chris even dressed up as well. In the end we asked the primary which cookie dough would they want to eat... It was unanimous that they wanted the good stuff over the cat food, dirt, pepper, pine coned cookie dough. I had premade lots of chocolate chip cookies, and tied a little "Future Temple Recommend" on them. I was so happy with the way it all turned out. The Sunbeams were so cute and helpful, and we know that they learned the lesson we were teaching everyone as well. It has been such a joy to teach the Sunbeams, they always keep us on our toes with their fun personalities and energy.

Happily Ever After

Last night was our quarterly enrichment activity. Chris and many other husbands willingly helped us set everything up. We had beautiful music playing, cute centerpieces of 2 balloons tied to a glass slipper, and a soft lighting. I asked our Stake President and his wife to come and speak to us, about "finding happiness through the journey." We had a yummy dinner of Chicken Alfredo (Olive Garden Recipe) with salad and rolls. For dessert I made Chocolate Mousse dessert shells. (Thanks for your help Aubrey!) They turned out so beautiful, and tasted yummy. We were spiritually uplifted by President Ritchie and his wife, and everything said I needed to hear. I was so impressed by the words they said, and the love they have for each other. It was a great evening, and we could not have done it without all the help we received. Our enrichment committee is awesome! Who would have thought the 3 of us could have pulled it all together? Thank you to everyone who helped us out, and to those who didn't come... we missed you!

More to come

(26 Weeks)

I have nothing more to blog about but, the next few weeks will be just as fun and as busy as these past 2 weeks. Tuesday is our anniversary, then Wednesday I am flying out to Utah for a week for my sister-in-laws wedding shower and bachelorette party, then off to Idaho for a week, and then back to Utah for a Wedding! I am trying not to get myself overwhelmed, but I know it will be a lot of fun.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Pregnancy Anxiety

The pregnancy anxiety is a lot more real then I would have imagined. I find myself waking up numerous times in the night to try and feel Arista move. I wake up any where between 7am-8am every morning, where I will get up, eat breakfast, and wait for her to move. Once I feel her move, I will then go back to sleep for a few more hours. My mind is constantly thinking "When is the last time I felt movement?" With Preslie she moved all the time from very early in the pregnancy. However I can honestly say that I never worried about her movements.

As November slowly approaches, I cannot even think of then or after. Next month we start doing NST's twice a week, as well as meet with our Dr. once every 2 weeks. We are going to schedule NST's to do at night as well. We will then be admitted to the hospital as early as 33 weeks if wanted, or 36 weeks. Then they will take the baby at 38 weeks. You would think that with all of these precautionary measures, and tests that I would feel like everything will be fine. I have learned that anything can happen. We went in for a NST the day that Preslie died. The NST was normal and everything. I do know that there is a chance that we may be able to keep Arista, but until she is safely in my arms I can't think of that. I am too afraid to open my heart 100% because I do not want to go through the pain of losing a child again.

I have had many dreams during this pregnancy about having a baby, but the baby comes out dead. I have never once had a dream where I have had a living baby, or if the baby was living it didn't move, cry, open it's eyes, and it looked very cold. I have only known how to deliver a dead child, my brain cannot comprehend it being the opposite.

I hope and pray everyday that through all of the anxiety and fear, that Chris and I can enjoy every minute we have with Arista. I do not know what I would do if we weren't pregnant right now. It has been a huge blessing in our lives, and has brought a glimmer of hope back to us again. It terrifies me how much I love this little girlie already, but I know that I wouldn't want it any other way.