Monday, April 20, 2009
Almost 6 Months
Chris and I want to thank everyone for the wonderful comments you have made. We have definitely felt your love and prayers the past 6 months. I don't know what we would have done without all of your support.
Like clockwork the past couple of days have been a whirlwind of emotion leading up to our baby girl's 6 month anniversary. I never try to keep track of the days, and then it will hit me and i'll just happen to realize that the day is approaching. The day Preslie didn't move. The day our entire lives turned upside down. 4 days short of being induced. 4 days short of bringing our baby home.
We decided that on Wednesday (April 22nd) we would go and see the movie "Earth" to celebrate/remember our darling Preslie. Chris and I have been huge animal lovers our entire lives and marriage, and we had about a bazillion stuffed animals waiting for Preslie to play with. For every ticket bought to see the movie a tree will be planted. We thought it would be really neat to have a tree planted in honor of Preslie. We are without a doubt sure she is enjoying all of the animals up in heaven, and that she occasionally comes down to pull Chewie's tail.
I am sure there are a billion questions as to how I am dealing with the loss of Preslie, and expecting again. Chris and I feel so blessed to be able to be expecting again, however we feel that this is the second hardest thing we have had to do other then to bury our first child. The fun carefree days of my last pregnancy are over. We were a nervous wreck when we found out that we were expecting. Every second of every day I wondered if it would be my last with little baby. We were able to get an early ultrasound last Thursday, and Chris and I did not sleep the entire night before. We were so scared that the monitor would show that there wasn't a baby in there, or that there was a problem. Luckily we concurred our fears and we were able to not only see our baby's heartbeat, but to hear it as well. After that day we have calmed down almost 90%, it was such a huge relief to see that things are progressing normally.
I feel at times that by expecting another baby that I am moving away from Preslie. That I am trying to get over her or forget her. I know that Preslie is so happy for us, and is watching over the baby. The fear is so real, but our faith has to be stronger. I cannot think about the end, and I don't believe that this baby will actually come home with us. I like to think of having this little baby coming during Thanksgiving, but I don't believe it will happen. We are living on faith, and hope that we will get to keep this little one.
Chris and I are anxious and excited to add another addition to our family, and are taking each day one step at a time. We both feel like this baby is a boy, since I have not been nearly as sick as I was with Preslie. The Chinese calendar says girl, as well as the ring over my stomach. We will be grateful with either. We have felt the blessings pouring in already with this baby, and we know that Preslie is not too far away.
I made these little sheep for Easter. I thought they were so cute I just had to share.
Posted by Rylie at 8:20 PM