Thursday, October 15, 2009

Infant Loss and Remembrance Day


I woke up today trying not to think about what day it is. Not only is it Infant Loss and Remembrance Day, it is my Due date that I had with Preslie last year. The past few days I have not been able to stop thinking about that day. I couldn't sleep the entire night before, because I was just so excited that I finally made it to my due date. I had a huge playgroup that day with yummy taco salads, and I told the girls to not expect me the following week during the Halloween play group, because I was going to have this baby!

I knew I put a post up today last year, and I tried all day to not think or look at it. Of course I couldn't help but look at it. Ugh, I just feel so sick to my stomach. It scares me to think where I will be this time next year. Will my dream of being a Mom on earth come true? Will I have all angel children? Will I have a beautiful baby girl on my lap to hold and take care of?

I am so grateful for the knowledge that I will be able to see Preslie again, and raise her in a better place. I just wish the time didn't seem so far away. I want to be able to hold her, and plan a huge birthday party a week from today. My heart is full, and my mind is in the past.

Please remember the lost babies today. They are not too far away, and we will remember them. If you can light a candle at 7pm to remember all the little angels, there will be many flames to honor them.

10 comments:

curtandjuliemartin said...

We will light a candle tonight and think of sweet Preslie and all the other babies in heaven. We love you!

Gordon and Alana said...

I will light a candle tonight as well. We wish you all the very best and are super glad the pregnancy is going well so far. You are in my prayers.

Julee said...

Love your beautiful pink candle! We'll be lighting a candle here too.

Bobby and M!kell said...

we lit a candle and my kids can't wait to participate on Preslie's birthday with the balloon launch.

love you.

Aubreydoll said...

I'm so glad you shared your candle with us tonight, there were many people thinking of Preslie's beautiful spirit today.

Michelle said...

It must have been such a tough day for you...I can only imagine! Preslie is so proud of her mama...she's so proud to call you hers and she is preparing a beatiful place for you and your family. You'll have your baby girl, soon my friend, soon. Prayers always!

J&E said...

Thinking of you...

Janey said...

I was thinking of you all day yesterday. You are such a strength to so many people, thank you so much for sharing pieces of your life like this, it just adds to the admiration I have for you! We're praying for you to have a seamless next few weeks and I can't wait to see your beautiful baby Arista!

Janee said...

So crazy. I remember that playgroup like it was yesterday. Thank you for sharing your testimony. We will say a prayer for all those precious babies today :)

Brittanie said...

Isn't that just the most beautiful knowledge. I don't know how women get through losses like ours without knowing, like we do, that we will get our babies back.

It's so scary, during a subsequent pregnancy, to believe that the outcome will be better. I think we're trying to "prepare" ourselves for something that we were NOT at all prepared for before.

I have immense amounts of hope for you and Chris and Arista.

You're doing the same thing I did. Cora was born in May, and Erin was born the next year in June. Erin's still here, she got here safely. I fully believe Arista will do the same. Lots and prayers for you the rocky terrifying stretch at the end!

((hugs))