I read this little article this morning, and I felt like I could relate so well with it. It's sad how negative our thoughts about ourselves can be. This is just what I needed to start my day.
BORN. TO. RUN.
By Laurel Christensen
August 22, 2011
I walked into the New Balance store feeling just a little out of place. I knew I wanted to be a runner but I also knew I wasn’t. And I knew anyone looking at me could tell that I wasn’t.
And when the sales guy told me to put on a pair and run across the little mat on the floor (you know the little contraption that tells them what shoes might be best for you?), I felt awkward and silly.
But his words stopped me (okay, the fact that I felt silly pretending to run might have stopped me too): “You know, I think you were born to be a runner.”
Now, sure, maybe he says that to everyone to get them to buy the $138 cute running shoes (yes, they really were but don’t judge me. I had a gift card that needed to be used). But, honestly, when he said it, something inside me felt like I was waking up.
And I found myself thinking about that a lot over the course of the next few weeks.
And then I had to ask myself, “Laurel, what if you were? What if you really were born to be a runner? And what if you’ve just never done what it would take to find that out?”
Thoughts like that haunt me sometimes.
But this isn't about those other thoughts.
It's about this one.
And, I'm not going to lie…
Changing my life pattern...changing my perception of myself...reprogramming my brain to believe something differently about myself...well, it's been one of the hardest things I've ever done. And it has been a great irony for me because I truly believe that "You Are What You Believe" and I also truly believe it is possible to change. I really do. For everyone else.
But THIS kind of change? For me?
I mean, you're talking about a girl who spent way too much of her life with negative thoughts about herself, with a really messed up relationship with food, who couldn't conceive that she would ever be "normal". (Am I saying all that out loud? Yep, I sure am.)
But, I knew in some very deep place inside me that I wasn’t entirely living as the girl I was born to be. And for some reason, I knew the sales guy was right. I really did believe I was born to run.
And I came to know God believed it too.
One of the greatest things I have learned on this journey is that I can’t experience change of any kind without Him.
And since He created me, I knew He could confirm to me who I was born to be.
And He did. He helped me believe and then know I was, in fact, born to do this.
Turns out, the sales guy was right. I am born to run.