Sunday, September 20, 2009
Faith and Hope
Tuesday we started the beginning of our weekly non-stress tests. We go into the doctor's office for 30-45 minutes, where they will hook Arista's heartbeat up on the monitor, and a monitor on me as well. (Which shows if and when I have contractions) Every time Arista moves I have to push a little button, and on the paper it shows what her heart rate is when she moves. When she moves it is normal for her heart rate to increase. What they look for is good heart rates with the movement.
Tuesday Arista hardly moved at all, but the test was normal. Then Friday she was going to town! The nurse came in a few times to tell us that she could hear Arista moving next door. It took the nurse about 5 minutes to get the heartbeat to come in loud enough for the monitor to pick it up, that is how much she is moving. That test also came back normal.
Chris and I have mixed emotions about all of these tests, because we had one the day that Preslie died and it was a normal test. We are hoping that since they are doing them regularly and frequently that they will be able to tell sooner if there is a potential problem.
We are anxious and excited for Arista's arrival. I can't think about the end, because it scares me to death. I do not want to endure all the pain and heart ache again, but I know that the Lord has a plan for our little family. I feel optimistic that we will get to keep Arista, and that I will be able to bring her home. However, there is always that fear that resides in me. The fear that we have no control over what happens within these next few months.
I know that together Chris and I can withstand anything that comes are way, for I feel like we have been through one of life's greatest trials. I truly feel like Preslie has made me a better person, and that I have a whole new perspective on life and how quickly we are here on earth. Live in the moment, live right now.
Please keep Chris and I in your prayers these next couple of months. We could not ask for anything better from all of you. Your love and support has brought us to where we are today. We have felt your prayers, and know that they have strengthened our lives.
Posted by Rylie at 2:18 PM