Sunday, September 20, 2009

Faith and Hope


Tuesday we started the beginning of our weekly non-stress tests. We go into the doctor's office for 30-45 minutes, where they will hook Arista's heartbeat up on the monitor, and a monitor on me as well. (Which shows if and when I have contractions) Every time Arista moves I have to push a little button, and on the paper it shows what her heart rate is when she moves. When she moves it is normal for her heart rate to increase. What they look for is good heart rates with the movement.

Tuesday Arista hardly moved at all, but the test was normal. Then Friday she was going to town! The nurse came in a few times to tell us that she could hear Arista moving next door. It took the nurse about 5 minutes to get the heartbeat to come in loud enough for the monitor to pick it up, that is how much she is moving. That test also came back normal.

Chris and I have mixed emotions about all of these tests, because we had one the day that Preslie died and it was a normal test. We are hoping that since they are doing them regularly and frequently that they will be able to tell sooner if there is a potential problem.

We are anxious and excited for Arista's arrival. I can't think about the end, because it scares me to death. I do not want to endure all the pain and heart ache again, but I know that the Lord has a plan for our little family. I feel optimistic that we will get to keep Arista, and that I will be able to bring her home. However, there is always that fear that resides in me. The fear that we have no control over what happens within these next few months.

I know that together Chris and I can withstand anything that comes are way, for I feel like we have been through one of life's greatest trials. I truly feel like Preslie has made me a better person, and that I have a whole new perspective on life and how quickly we are here on earth. Live in the moment, live right now.

Please keep Chris and I in your prayers these next couple of months. We could not ask for anything better from all of you. Your love and support has brought us to where we are today. We have felt your prayers, and know that they have strengthened our lives.

10 comments:

Willow said...

Love you guys. For certain, I'll be praying for you and Arista, and thinking about you all a lot.

Hugs.

Lisa G-K

April said...

OH Rylie I can only imagine the anxiety, pain, stress, and excitement you are going through. I would be terrified as well and of course have the mixed emotions about those tests. I had no idea you had one the day you gave birth the preslie. I am so sorry for you loss and I will of course pray for you and Chris and your sweet baby girl. I am so excited for you and I hope and pray you can find peace through the help of the Dr's.

Aubreydoll said...

All four of you are in our thoughts and prayers everyday. We love you so much and are so grateful that we had the opportunity to become friends with you! We love you all!

Danny and Lauren's Blog said...

Ry! I am glad to have posts from you. I start to miss your words. I will keep you and Chris in my prayers. I think of you often and find myself sharing your story as an example of someone with such great faith. Keep hanging in there. <3 ya girl! Xo, Lauren

Courtney said...

Always thinking of you my friend.

*hugs*

Michelle said...

I know that fear...even though you know God loves you and will take care of you, there is always that 'fear' creeping in! YOu will certainly be in our prayers the next couple of months as always. Don't worry about the tests ( i know, easier said then done), the Lord is there, the Lord will get you through no matter what any test shows. He loves you, we love you, so hang in there and enjoy each kick, each summersault...before long you'll be holding your baby girl in your arms and singing her to sleep! love you guys!

Michelle said...

I know that fear...even though you know God loves you and will take care of you, there is always that 'fear' creeping in! YOu will certainly be in our prayers the next couple of months as always. Don't worry about the tests ( i know, easier said then done), the Lord is there, the Lord will get you through no matter what any test shows. He loves you, we love you, so hang in there and enjoy each kick, each summersault...before long you'll be holding your baby girl in your arms and singing her to sleep! love you guys!

J&E said...

Much love, thoughts, and prayers your way. Can't wait to see her!
Erin

Brittanie said...

For me, each day I got closer to that loss point, I got more and more scared. Which is why I was induced with both Erin and Patrick...

I'll be praying for peace for you, so that you can trust the whispers of the Spirit that tell you you get to take her home this time. I felt like I was slowly drowning in my fear each time. And of course I'll be praying for Arista, but I think you need it more.

((hugs))

Janee said...

You guys are ALWAYS in our thoughts and prayers! We can't wait for Arista's arrival! Love ya!