Last Night I Died.

I figured I needed to write this out quickly, so that I can get it all out and move forward.  Yesterday I laid down with the girls for an afternoon nap.  I woke up at 4:30 with my heart racing and beating out of my chest.  I have had episodes like this in the past, and have been able to slow it down and get it to regulate on its own.  After trying all the maneuvers to stop heart palpitations, I decided that I would wait it out.  Around the 2 hour mark I was drenched in sweat, my chest was burning and I couldn't catch my breath.  I had Chris drop me off at the ER and take the kids home.  I figured they would probably just have me sit on a monitor until my heart slowed down.  They immediately did an EKG, and the nurse had panic written all over his face.  He asked if I could feel my heart racing and then yelled 3 times for another nurse.  "Her heart is 188! We need to get her back now!"  I quickly grabbed my phone and called Chris to tell him it was an emergency and he needed to get there right away.

They threw me in a wheelchair and raced me back to a room where people were waiting for me.  They quickly got me on the bed and hooked me up to oxygen and different heart monitors.  They gave me a straw and told me to try blowing through it. (This is one maneuver to try to get your heart rate down)  They had me try several more with no luck.  The doctor then told me that they needed to inject me with something that will reset my heart.  He explained that there was danger to the baby, but that they needed to think of me. I told them I couldn't lose another baby, and asked if this would stop the baby's heart.  No one would look me in the eyes, and no one would answer my question.  The Doctor just kept saying that they needed to do this.  I pleaded for them to wait for Chris, but they said that they needed to do it now.  The doctor called Chris and told him that they needed to do this and that I was worried about the baby, but they needed to save me.  Chris agreed.  I held the doctors hand as they started the injection.  I could hear the heart monitor go crazy, and then I felt intense pain in my arm.  It didn't work.  My vein blew out.  I kept trying the maneuvers thinking that this was a sign that they shouldn't stop my heart. After 5 blown out veins they finally got one to hold.  Chris walked in right when they were about to inject the medicine.  He held my hand and they counted to ten.  I heard the monitors go crazy, I closed my eyes and all of a sudden it felt like I was under a semi truck on fire.  I gasped for air, and my heart started beating normally.

Chris said he has never seen anything scarier.  That my heart was flat lined for about 5 seconds.  I gasped for air as my last breath.

They did an ultrasound after and the baby was alive and completely normal.  Miracle!  I thought for sure that the baby wouldn't make it.  After that they ran blood and urine tests and filled me up for bags of fluids.  I threw up most of the morning and was dehydrated, so that could have been a factor, but we don't know for sure.  I was diagnosed with SVT, which is were your heart can have episodes of beating faster than 120.  Typically they start you immediately on a Beta Blocker which keeps adrenaline for going into your heart, but there is a high risk of it making babies in utero become mentally challenged.  The Doctor agreed that this wasn't a smart move now, but if I continue to have episodes, then its' something that we may have to consider.  I was released last night, and my anxiety was off the charts.  I have been a wreck ever since worrying that it will happen again.  The Doctor said that this is VERY common in people of my age, which surprised me.  And, even more common in women who are pregnant.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to be home with my family, and to have a healthy baby still growing inside of me.  I am super emotional and get super freaked out thinking about all that happened last night.  I know that angels were looking out for me, and that my journey isn't over.  This has been a huge wake up call to me, that I can't take things for granted.  That I need to spend more time with my kids and tell them I love them more.  I need to appreciate the blessings I have in life, and not focus on the things I don't have.  I am grateful for modern medicine, and the nurses and doctors who know what they are doing.  I am grateful for a husband who loves me despite all my craziness. I am grateful to all our friends and family who have prayed for us and continue to pray for us.  I am most importantly grateful to God, for giving me a chance to do better.  I am alive because of him.

I don't know what the future will bring.  It's difficult for me to not worry about all the "what ifs".  I pray that through this experience I will be able to concur my fears and overcome my anxiety.

Love to you all!


Rylie